The first picture depicts me at my biggest. Followed by my fittest.
It was one of the hardest journeys I ever ventured on. One that I felt out of place from. Seriously, how could an overweight sloth like me ever be like the fit people we often see on infomercials?
Yet, that didn’t stop me from purchasing my first Beachbody (TM) workout program.
Thus, my introduction to home workouts began. And it all started with me sitting on a couch one lazy Saturday afternoon as Shaun T. described his what sounded to be too good to be true program to me. I slurped on my soda and just shook my head. It couldn’t be. Those people must do more than just that. But instead of flipping the channel, I continued eating whatever junk was in front of me. Out of so much repetition, great reviews, and amazing results, I caved in. With no intention, but to possibly get the free shirt* upon completing the program. Online ordering I went.
Now, as a realist, I knew, my close to obese self (according to my BMI) would not achieve the results as the women on the screen. They had no flabs whatsoever. But, I thought, hey, maybe just maybe I could get a free shirt. < See how little motivation, or self-belief I had in myself? I was so far gone. Plus, it was always easier to open the fridge and overindulge in the junk food and sugary drinks that weren’t doing me any good than to think of myself as someone who could actually become fit. After all, I was never into sports. My most active moments were on a trampoline and some shooting hoops after school. Even then, it wasn’t that much. I was actually a hermit. Bound to be found indoors. avoiding the outdoors as much as possible. Daylight, who? My pale skin wasn’t even an acquaintance to it. Regardless of my physical state during the heaviest moments of my life, I added to cart and purchased. And I forgot all about it, until the day it arrived weeks later. Because I wasn’t paying extra for the expedited shipping. Why? Because I wasn’t really into actually doing it.
Let’s fast forward a bit. Keep in mind, I just wanted a free shirt at the end of the program. One that I never got. I didn’t get instant results as Shaun T. claimed I would. But I don’t blame him. Nor am I dissing his program. If we fast forward a whole lot more, I actually love his programs. Best trainer ever. But let’s go back to that time I received my package.
I opened it and was excited for a bit. I read over the contents and “planned” on starting come the following Monday. Plus, it called for athletic wear (another excuse just to buy things) so shopping I did. Came the following Monday, I woke up excited. I was about to embark on a fitness journey that I knew nothing about. I met fitness face to face that Monday evening. The fit test was not so bad. So I continued on Tuesday. Tuesday came. I pushed play and tried it. But let me tell you, I. Did. NOT. Like. It. Not one second of it.
It was the hardest thing ever. It was impossible. I knew it couldn’t be true. It was all lies. I got mad and didn’t get past the warm-up without crying. I forced myself to continue, but I just got more disappointed. And I was hurting. What was I thinking? Why did I sign up for this? My fat self would never be able to do that. I was aiming way too high. And that was that.
I felt sad, mad, shattered. I felt it all. Oh, well there goes my free shirt.
Of course, at that point, I was not content and uncomfortable with my physical condition. Subconsciously I was aware of it. I just had trouble accepting it. Hence, it was easier to put myself down than to build myself up. Or at the very least, encourage myself to try.
Then again, I went about it wrong. I chose a program that was super hard. I wanted to be able to perform at the same level as Tania the machine. Yeah, no way would I, not at that time. My mistake caused a disillusion. And I just pushed it aside. I didn’t even bother to modify. Nope, I was “done”.
I continued in my ways. Continued slurping the sodas. Eating the
fat fast foods. And having seconds even thirds in every gathering where food was involved.
And that’s how it was for quite a while. But that changed. One day, I decided I had enough…
To be continued in Part 2