April 30, 2017
At such a time as this, the last thing I know is how you’re feeling. I can see the hurt and pain, but it’s one only you feel. A suffering that I wish I could be able to take away. One that I won’t ever be able to say the “right” words to make it alright.
At such a time as this, I hope that as I hold you tight, you can see how much I care. If given the possibility, I’d hold you until you didn’t hurt anymore. I’d take the pain away so you wouldn’t have to hurt. I know that hurting is part of the process and it will eventually serve as a growing experience, but when you cry it hurts like nothing else.
Seeing you broken, yet trying hard to stay strong, only brings tears to my eyes. I’m filled with a pain that doesn’t even come close to what you’re feeling. I wish you didn’t have to go through this, but it’s part of life. I cannot and will not say, “I know how you feel,” because truth is, I have no idea. I can see the little glimpses you allow yourself to show. But I know it must be deeper within.
You share your memories and I promise I’m listening attentively. I may stay silent, but I’m letting you share those memories that no one nor anything will ever be able to take away from you. That means that even though you are experiencing a great loss, from the person who meant the world to you – your maternal figure and best friend, the memories will forever remain. Cherish them.
Like I stated before, I may not know what to say. Or whether you even have the spirits to want to hear these things – and I totally understand. Just know, I’m here for you. I’ll be the one to hug and hold you when you need it. The one to listen to your precious moments you’d like to share. The one who wants you to come to yourself again. But also the one who knows that it’s okay to go through this grief the only way you know how to. But please don’t think you have to go through it alone. You’re not alone. I’m here. Cry. Cry as much as you need. I’ll be your shoulder when needed. But please don’t stay down for too long, just the amount that is needed.
And me, I’ll be here. I’ll pray and ask for God to fill whatever you need; whatever is missing and to give you the comfort that I won’t be able to. May it be a resignation that you will be able to soon come to terms with.
I wish you well. May acceptance soon be what you feel. And throughout the stages of your grief, I’ll be here for you.
All of this and more, from my heart, my condolences to you and your family.