March 1, 2017

It’s your grandmother’s birthday this week. You are planning a surprise party for her with family. You are looking forward to it. You are practically in charge of the planning (y’know the usual). You still have some decorations you need to work on and you’re trying your best.

On the other hand, something tragic happened to your homeboy(HB)/ride or die. His grandmother passed.

Now you have to tackle two things for 2 very special grandmothers. One for your blood and one for your HB.

You once were able to talk to him about the planning and even had asked for his help, which he was enthusiastic about, but now you don’t. It doesn’t seem right.

So, now, you split your time. You wish you could split yourself into halves to get both things done. You want to be there for him as best, but you also have to do other things. You’re not blaming him. In fact, you don’t mind spending more time with him as support. Because that’s what ride or dies do.

In a way, you feel a little bad for not focusing on your grandmother’s party as much, but you realize, thanks to God, you at least will have the opportunity to spend this Saturday with her. Something that your HB won’t ever be able to do. So being with him seems correct. And it is where you want to be – with him. It doesn’t make you less of a good granddaughter. So stop beating yourself up. You’ll get the things done. Maybe not to the perfection you strive for, but you know your grandmother isn’t too picky. She will be content even if it isn’t as a grand thing you had first envisioned.

The important thing is to be there for loved ones. And that’s exactly what you’re doing for both your HB and your grandma. So don’t feel bad. Be there for your HB and be grateful you can still be there for your grandmother as well.

Because grandmas are the best second mothers: I dedicate this post to the lady I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting, but by the stories HB shares, I could see was a loving woman – his grandmother, but also his friend. I wish I had been able to meet her because she seems like she was amazing, caring, and funny. May she rest in peace and may my HB be okay through this change in his life.