Job Hunting and Bad Breakups: A Correlation

June 6, 2017

After a bad breakup or any for that matter, putting yourself back out there could be a while. And when you do, it could be tedious and nerve-racking. At least for those of us who don’t jump from relationship to relationship.

But have you ever had a drought in becoming employed?

You Put Yourself Out There.

It’s like every application you fill and turn in, is swiped left – there’s no compatibility. And it takes a toll on you. “What’s wrong with me?” Self-evaluation levels drop; confidence is lower than before. It’s not like it was with landing your first 3 jobs. Easy. First, try and you were in; wanted. Now, it’s harder and this time you even have your B.A. Are employers also scared of an intellectual woman who is trying her best to become independent? After all, it is a patriarchal world, and rumor has it, men fear such strong women.

And you doubt yourself, but one potential comes along and you can already envision yourself together. Thinking about the future. And it all seems to go well. You get called for the first interview – “date” they are pleased and schedule another date. And yet another, but somehow they don’t call you after the third. What did I do wrong? It almost feels like you slept with a dude too soon and therefore they aren’t calling you back. But you keep trying, because after all job hunting isn’t the same as dating, and the sting of rejection isn’t as bad…or so you thought prior to applying elsewhere. A better job than before. And the same process. We like you, we like you. And you continue until you’re put on a waiting list. And that is better than rejection, but it still feels like you’re not the only one. And it’s only natural because of course employers will be seeing others, not just you. This was never something exclusive.

And that one hurt a little more. Almost as if you were just being teased only to be put aside for now. So it takes you a while to get back in the game. But when you hear of a job fair you go to it. More nervous than you’ve ever been. What do I wear? Is this too much? What if they don’t like me? The questions go on, but you still manage to find something nice and put your best foot forward. Coincidently, your confidence seems to be sky-rocketing. Up until you get to the place and see the parking lot is full. So packed, you must circle around a few times until you find an opening. And even then, you stay in the car because you are nervous. Your confidence drops. You decide to leave. And you actually do. You’re not ready for this. You don’t know if you’ll be able to handle rejection once more. And as you’re a block away, you decide to make a u-turn and head back because you know yourself. You will be madder at the fact that you didn’t even try. That you, yourself rejected the possibility of even being given an opportunity. So you head back. And just like that, there’s an empty space near the entrance waiting for you. You pull in and park. You say a little prayer. Take several breaths and step out of the car. You walk in as if you are ready to tackle it. Sure the place is packed, but it’s people for many positions. You Remain in line. It’s your turn to sign in and you notice your position only has 3 others before you. That’s relieving. Chances are higher. And you hear how long others have been waiting, not even 5 minutes sitting and you’re called into the cafeteria where interviews are being conducted for the screening process. Yes, you feel nervous, but deep down you feel much better for making it this far. And then the interview commences and you feel like you’re not liked, but then conversation flows better. And you feel at greater ease. You’re not sure how well they liked you, but they also suggest if they are booked there’s always substituting. And you feel that’s their subtle way of saying, “it’s not you, it’s us” but this time you’re okay with it. You could get experience. They haven’t said no, thank you. They said they’ll call in candidates for a second interview with principles and they wish you luck. And you’re left wondering, will this be the one?

But even if it isn’t, the fact that you were able to overcome another similar process makes you feel that much better and you decide it’s something similar to the dating scene, it hurts when rejected, but it feels nice knowing you can still put yourself out there and not give up on the idea that one day you’re bound to end up just where you’ll be fitting and wanted.