What do You do?

I’ve been unemployed a little over a year. What rings a sad truth for me, in my journey of trying to get hired past achieving my Baccalaureate degree, rings to many as me bumming about.

Receiving remarks, “must be nice,” No, Susan – it isn’t nice! You think I would have furthered my education, get loans, and upon completing be stuck at home? No. I am not truly a masochist.

“Settle for any job.” Umm, easy for many to say who didn’t work for that degree. And maybe it’s not looked as a great accomplishment, and I don’t intend to be exalting myself, but I refuse to settle for something less than what I could perform. That may come off as chocante.  Oh, believe me, I’ve heard it. But when you work hard for something you won’t want to settle. Trust me. I am not in debt to continue ringing up sales and/or cleaning restrooms. Which is the main reason I continued until I got my degree. A degree which they messed up and left out my middle name. The sight of that was eye-watering. But that’s a different story.

I get so many looks; judgmental glances. Comments I rather not hear. And bombarded with questions. The most common one is, “What do you do?” In many variations.

What do you do with all your free time. Well, let me tell you. Since you questioned me so much, I hope you have the decency to stick around and pay attention to what I do with all my free time.

Since you assume the worst of me, I am going to assume that you’re not very nice for thinking that way. You’ve managed to make me feel mad, bad, and so many types of ways. It was starting to get to me. I had to remind myself, I am not here to please others or live to their expectations. It wasn’t entirely my fault that I wasn’t getting hired even after completing application after application on a daily basis. So, there you have one thing I do with my time. I am actually applying places. Bet you didn’t know some applications take a lot of time. So much, I don’t even end up having free time. Ask those living in my household, I am spending more time in my room. Sometimes only going out to eat and back to the job search. And yes, I admit, there have been a few days that I didn’t apply. But that’s what happens when you turn in 5 applications per day and don’t always get at least a “we’re sorry, you’re not what we’re looking for at the moment.” See, not all places are as courteous to slam the door in your face. Some don’t even bother greeting you at their doorstep. It’s been a tough one. So, yes, I have gotten discouraged. Yes, I have wasted some of my time. But not as much as you assume.

Since I am not working, doesn’t mean I’ve just been doing nothing. On the contrary, I’ve had the privilege to help those in need. The ones who came to me for help, I’ve been a helping hand. I’ve been a friend. Even to those friends who are nowhere to be found because I no longer have the same financial stability as before. You’d be amazed at how many people flake and are actually fake. But, hey, that’s okay. No, seriously. They’ve weeded themselves out. Less work for me, because I am all about that less work, better for me lifestyle. [Please detect my sarcasm]. It’s come to that. Having to wear a label or a disclaimer because some people are so touchy. Whatevs.

I run errands. More than the running I should do for my cardio activities. I picked up some freelance writing gigs. Nice experience, but not good enough. I’ve had my photography gigs. It’s been slow, but was content with the few jobs I have had during my employment drought.

Yes, I also set a day aside for binge watching shows. Sue me! I also set time aside for reading. I restarted my daily devotionals. I learned new recipes. I fall in and out of my workout routines. I packed on pounds due to stress and malnourishment. I have lost touch with many. I have rekindled some connections. I have planned parties. I haven’t lost that touch.

I’ve learned to be patient. I’ve learned to keep my faith. I’ve learned that savings are great. They have helped me out a lot. I’ve learned that I can still depend on my parents during difficult moments. I’ve gotten tired of not being able to go online shopping as before. I’ve had to cancel my Netflix account and Amazon Prime. I’ve been able to live knowing it’s okay not being able to go online shopping. Less is more – and I truly mean it.

I’ve done so much more that I rather not document because I didn’t do it so others can know what I am doing. I do things heartfelt. Between myself, God, and the people involved. That’s how it ought to be. I am not helping to receive praise from others. I am helping, because it’s part of my personality. Speaking of, this situation has helped build my character.

I’ve been in this situation for far too long. Trust me, I don’t like it. It isn’t as great as you think it is. Don’t judge me. I am not having a blast. I am learning to make the best of every situation I am in. Currently I am unemployed. Currently I am waiting for a background check and the green light. I have faith it will all work out for my good.

So, for everyone asking, whether it be out of curiosity or your judgmental state, I do more than you think I do. I do more than just staying in bed. I do not sleep in. I still am an early riser. I still have errands to run. I still run a blog. I still apply to places. And then some.

Thank you very much for asking.