I never thought I’d be sharing the same living quarters with my partner, prior to marriage. That is just not how I envisioned it. Never did I want that to happen. But they say the rule is never say never…
If there were a scale to determine how it is, it’s all over the spectrum of such said scale.
It’s not all lovey-dovey, hugs, kisses, and cuddles. Excessive dosage could lead to pre-diabetic symptoms. Yet, there are those moments, but being one who isn’t used to having someone around all-the-time, it is hard to adjust to. And you’ll end up feeling like someone is invading your personal space, yet again.
That may sound harsh, but let me explain.
Remember sleeping early and then waking up early? Yeah, say goodbye to your sane sleeping schedule. It’s not all bad, after all, you do enjoy the tv show binging with someone else, but to what extent? What’s next, dark undereye circles? You need balance. And it’s been a tough war when you’re sharing your sleeping schedule with a night owl.
How about rising early, doing your early morning routine. Restroom business, coming back to flop on bed and do some of your daily Bible reading…Yeah, those flops are non-existent. Perhaps a bigger bed? But not enough room space in this place. Don’t get me started on how even exiting to the restroom has to be done in the most incognito of ways, and it’s difficult especially at wee early mornings. No matter how hard you try, he always ends up noticing you trying to escape. “Where are you going?” Ugh, let me do me!!!
Or how about the moments you enjoyed behind your laptop screen. Trying to schedule your posts. Tending to your blog and reading others. Yeah, it won’t be long til he hits you with, “why are you always on your laptop?” Like gee, I don’t bother you when you game… It’s almost as if he knows exactly when inspiration and creativity is at my doorstep and he wants to ruin it. And every time writer’s block visits is when he is alone enjoying his gaming without interrupting me.
And then there’s the cooking and eating. Too very diverse habits. My little stomach has been stretching. He’s used to going all out with his meals. That’s not me. I don’t get hunger pangs as often as he. And I feel I have to pause whatever I’m doing to help out in the kitchen, if not what kind of girlfriend would I be? Plus, it doesn’t help years and years of upbringing and hearing my grandmothers state how a woman should be the one to tend for her man. Cook, clean, etc… I’ve never liked that. I’m all for equality. But none of that fake feminism, because believing in feministic means you’re equally masochistic just with a different sex. Okay, that made better sense in my mind. But that’s a whole different
No, but somehow those ancestral beliefs of how the man shouldn’t be cooking, cleaning, you-name-it, have somehow managed to brainwash me slightly to leave those lingering guilt trips deep within. It’s the worst! And I know he doesn’t mind cooking alone. But I just, I mean, I can’t let him cook ALL-the-time. Tempting?! Yet, very unfair. And fairness is my cuppa tea.
And if fairness is your cuppa tea then why don’t you find balance? Ahh, yes, of course. Except it isn’t as easy as I thought. None of it is what I expected. And to be honest, I don’t know what I was expecting.
The realist in me knew that it isn’t all hugs and kisses. Yet, I wish I knew many of the things I’m finding out as I go about what it really is like to live with your partner. I wish I had read a manual. A guidebook. Some sort of instruction prior. But I never did, since I never thought I’d be having to deal with this prior to marriage. Wait, does such content even exist?
But this is what is happening. They are the lessons I am learning. And I feel it is my rightful duty to
warn tell others the things I wish I knew before living together, in hopes of saving them from the emotional stress and fast balls that come unexpectedly. Leave the bruising to me as I share what I learn along the way to those who are about to take the next step and those thinking about it. For those of you who know what I am referring to, can I get a witness?!
But don’t worry, it won’t all be negatives. I promise. There are great moments too. A lot of those. It’s just that the unexpected moments are the ones that sting and have taken and are still taking time to adjust too.
Overall, I love it. I just haven’t found the balance yet because I’m sure there will be other fastballs. I’m going to have to learn how to bat some away and in other instances grab my mitt and catch them. It’s a learning process. I just wish I knew these things and more before.